1/26/25
every child i know has a biblical name

the truth is im afraid

the truth is i dont know what the truth is 

taking what i can i forget to leave the rest 

and tomorrow drags on to a never time 

i try to note that i am the vehicle of time

and you were a vehicle of time 

now you are gone 

are you a marker of time now

now i feel that’s reductive

we might all just be fenceposts now

and fenceposts fall down

and that messes up the fence

and then there is no safety behind the fence and 

the fence was always once there and 

these abrupt tomorrows make these 

end times apparent

but i shouldn’t be thinking about the end of the line i should be thinking that i am on that line now and i could fall off down a waterfall at any moment







1/8/25

i want 

to hold the hand of a leper

to be 19 to be 32 

to be cold 

without a home and to climb the half dome in Yosemite 

and to hope you touch the sky as you fall to the bottom 

maybe that’s the closest you can get 

to sainthood

is bargaining 


to pee in a public bathroom 

vigorously in sink








11/11/24
lamenting seven songs to seven fishes 

for seven days

and evolution carrying me from dirt




and on the second day god gave me a turtle neck and flying sack of lard

to hold in my right palm 

to understand the awkwardness of being somewhere in the morning 

hi ho i hope one day i can go back home and to sleeep 

and i complain and shriek like a bat 

and hold my hands over my head and hold myself accountable i am fault it is not my fault i just am it whenever i walk i feel the fault line faulting till the rubble on the ground shakes when i move





11/4/24
i was carried away as a child

by these armless hands mounted asleep on a sheet of cardboard 

and then i floated into space

into the doctors office

the hands checked me into an empty office

big windows 

creation outside 

absence 

a lion man told me to wait and disappeared through a tv screen 

and out came my grandmother 

she died in the psych ward

and she held me and told me to reach her on a star through the window 








10/11/24
white wands of will 

lemon twill on the edge of your shirt and the edge of ur shame tainted by the discharge of a beer on a wednesday